My Psychology of Home Buying & Selling
A therapy session once introduced me to a strategy for managing anxiety that I think translates well to helping home buyers & sellers make choices about not just their eventual property, but also the path they will create to calling that place home. We’re used to thinking of our wants vs. our needs in this life, but therapy has invited me to use what I call the Three Question Method, instead.
The wants vs. needs approach creates a static set of goals, and it will crumble under the weight of shifting transactional realities. The Three Question Method is a fluid approach to a fluid process. Read on for more, and give it a try - in life & business.
To me, the wants vs. needs binary is simplistic at best, and damaging at its worst; it doesn’t leave room for nuance, flexibility, or individuality. It has always felt like there is a right or wrong answer, and if I categorized my choices inappropriately, I’d be shamed.
When it comes to helping folks buy or sell a home, it is paramount that I coach my clients to be nimble through the process because no two home searches and transactions are alike - we need to expect the unexpected! The wants vs. needs dichotomy often falls apart when an unexpected finding pops up on a property inspection report, for example.
When my clients become home owners or close on the sale of a property, they feel empowered because I expect and foster a high level of ownership (metaphorical, in this sense!) from them. We talk about every decision - big & small - before they decide. When something unexpected pops up, I don’t hand-wave it away as simply part of the process. Instead, I stay positive, present the facts, lay out the ramifications, and invite them to make a choice about how to move forward. With my approach to business, the wants vs. needs model stops being useful after we talk about bed & bath count and square footage, because everyone wants and needs their real estate transaction to be easy-peasy-lemon squeezy. But alas, they often aren’t, and that’s what I am for!
There’s a better way to process unexpected challenges, and I use it with my real estate clients - buyers & sellers alike!
Next time you’re presented with an unwanted difficulty (for example, your boss drops a new project on your desk), or you’re making a HUGE decision that is, in turn, made up of a thousand smaller decisions, (like, say, buying a home), the *THREE QUESTION METHOD* might be helpful for you:
Ask yourself -
Do I love/like this?
Is this something I don’t love/like, but can manage?
Is this something I don’t love/like, and is a crisis/non-starter for me?
As a seasoned Agent, I infuse this sophisticated and empowering matrix into guiding my clients through their unique home buying and selling journeys. Everyone deserves Real Estate representation that is underscored by a desire to serve. By inviting my clients to consider these questions when things pop up in our time together, I cultivate an agency relationship that prioritizes the clients’ goals, feelings, and lived experiences without having to shield or exclude them from the process.
